12:30 pm - Fri, Sep 19, 2014

A.C.O.D.

After enduring decades of conflict between his divorced parents, Carter tries to end the hostilities on the eve of his brother’s marriage. Instead, he ends up making surprising discoveries about his past that only increase the tumult. (Netflix)

A Review Haiku by Carlito 

2 out of 5 L.O.D.s

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4:16 pm - Thu, Sep 18, 2014
It’s back. It’s disgusting. I love it like family. #surge

It’s back. It’s disgusting. I love it like family. #surge

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12:30 pm

NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE

A secret agent is murdered, and his son—a high school gymnast—teams up with a spy to catch the man who killed him. (IMDB) 

A Review Haiku by Christian York 

3.5 out of 5 Brisco/Patterson Hardcore Evening Gown Match

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12:30 pm - Wed, Sep 17, 2014

MORVERN CALLAR

Morvern Callar, a poor Scottish clerk, wakes to find that her boyfriend has committed suicide. Sensing an opportunity, Morvern claims authorship of his unpublished novel. When the money starts pouring in, Morvern and her pal Lanna take off for Spain. (Netflix) 

A Review Haiku by Cherry 

2.5 out of 5 Fiona Frasers 

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12:30 pm - Tue, Sep 16, 2014

LOCKOUT

A former government agent wrongly accused of a crime gets a shot at freedom — if he can engineer a high-risk mission to outer space in order to rescue the president’s daughter from a prison where the inmates are in control. (Netflix) 

A Review Haiku by Jack Swagger 

1.5 out of 5 TNA Lockdowns 

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12:30 pm - Mon, Sep 15, 2014

JUG FACE

Jug Face tells the story of a pregnant teen trying to escape a backwoods community who discovers that she may be sacrificed to a creature in a pit. The entity in the pit requires a sacrifice for keeping the community safe. The face of the person to be sacrificed is crafted onto a ceramic jug. When ignored, the entity unleashes an evil onto the community. Now no one is safe as tragedy befalls each member one by one and they soon realize that the pit wants what it wants. (Netflix) 

A Review Haiku by Golga 

4 out of 5 Wyatt Family Compounds

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12:30 pm - Fri, Sep 12, 2014

TANGLED

Disney animators take on the classic Grimm Brothers story of Rapunzel, a long-locked beauty imprisoned in a secluded tower by evil hag Mother Gothel, who needs the rejuvenating powers of Rapunzel’s tresses to remain young. (Netflix)

A Review Haiku by Crazy Boy 

3.5 out of 5 Hair vs. Hair matches 

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12:30 pm - Thu, Sep 11, 2014

HELL BABY

In this horror spoof, an expectant couple moves into their new home, only to learn that it comes with a deadly demonic curse. With the body count rising quickly, the Vatican’s elite exorcism team is on the case. (Netflix)

A Review Haiku by “Polish Power” Ivan Putski 

4 out of 5 Kane and Lita’s kid post-Snitsky kicks 

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12:30 pm - Wed, Sep 10, 2014
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THE NOBODIES

The lonely husband of a famous female comedian strikes up an unlikely friendship with the neighborhood’s sad-sack mailman, ultimately forming a successful, albeit unusual, musical collaboration that blends the line between fantasy and reality. (Letterboxd)

A Review Haiku by Becky Lynch

4 out of 5 The J.O.B. Squads

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12:30 pm - Tue, Sep 9, 2014

SILO

Writer and director David Soll explores the interior of a real-life Cold War era nuclear silo in this comedy short film: The custodian of a nuclear missile silo wakes up one morning to realize that the projectile has disappeared. (Gizmodo)

A Review Haiku by Chessman

4 out of 5 Missile Dropkicks

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12:30 pm - Mon, Sep 8, 2014

CROPSEY

Two filmmakers explore an urban legend from their own childhoods: a rash of child abductions that struck Staten Island, N.Y., in the 1970s and 80s. (Netflix) 

A Review Haiku by Conor O’Brien

3 out of 5 Willows in the woods

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12:30 pm - Fri, Sep 5, 2014

DUST

The short story of a man who follows a young girl and her mum home from school one day. He waits outside their house until nightfall before breaking in. Once inside, events take an unexpected turn… (IMDB) 

A Review Haiku by Consequences Creed

3 out of 5 Dust Brothers

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12:30 pm - Thu, Sep 4, 2014

HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX

Returning to Hogwarts, Harry is stunned to find that his warnings about the return of Voldemort have been ignored. Left with no choice, he takes matters into his own hands, training a group of students to defend themselves against the dark arts. (Netflix) 

A Review Haiku by Cowboy James Storm 

4 out of 5 Phoenix Splashes

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12:30 pm - Wed, Sep 3, 2014

RIKI-OH: THE STORY OF RICKY

When his drug-addicted girlfriend commits suicide, Riki-Oh offs her dealer and finds himself in a prison where the accused have no rights and little hope. The inmates torture Riki-Oh, but he fights back as if his life depended on it — which it does! (Netflix) 

A Review Haiku by Alan Stone 

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12:30 pm - Tue, Sep 2, 2014

THE BATTERED BASTARDS OF BASEBALL

This documentary tells the little-known story of how actor Bing Russell (of TV’s “Bonanza”) created an independent baseball team in the 1970s. Armed with big-time dreams and plenty of spirit, Russell’s Portland Mavericks become lovable underdogs. (Netflix) 

A Review Haiku by Aerostar 

5 out of 5 Maverick Darsows 

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